I thought I should have some slight emotion on seeing land again, but I didn’t. The low shore of Ireland had come into view with two faint hills in the distance and these fascinated me. Finally I came on deck and sang coon songs with Miss X., sitting in our steamer chairs.
Then I thought I had lost one of my brushes, which I hadn’t, though I did lose one of my stylo pencils. Then I discovered that I had no place for my derby hat save on my head, so I went back and packed my cap. Then I came on deck and found that I had forgotten to pack my ship blanket, and a steamer rug, which I forthwith went and packed. I went forthwith and paid them, relieving my soul of a great weight. She liked me intellectually and thought I was able, but her physical and emotional predilections, so far as men are concerned, did not include me. She was a tricky creature-coy, uncertain and hard to please. was a little more friendly this morning than heretofore. “And what else should they do? Isn’t that enough?�? “Deck-steward-so much,�?it read, “Room steward-so much-�?etc. No-I’ll write it.�?And he drew forth an ever ready envelope. “Look here�?observed that most efficient of all managerial souls that I have ever known. “And what do they do when they live?�?I asked.
It sneers and barks and jeers bitterly at times, and guffaws and cackles and has a joyous time laughing at the follies of others. There is in me the spirit of a lonely child somewhere and it clings pitifully to the hand of its big mama, Life, and cries when it is frightened and then there is a coarse, vulgar exterior which fronts the world defiantly and bids all and sundry to go to the devil. I think most of us are a little silly at times, only we are cautious enough to conceal it. So I packed-will you believe it?-a little sadly.
WHILE I was lying in my berth the fifth morning, I heard the room steward outside my door tell some one that he thought we reached Fishguard at one-thirty. “Oh, having a nice country-house within a short traveling distance of London or Paris, and being able to dine at the best restaurants and visit the best theaters once or twice a week to go to Paris or Monte Carlo or Scheveningen or Ostend two or three or four, or as many times a year as they please to wear good clothes and to be thoroughly comfortable.�? I shall never come to England any more for the first time. You know so well you cannot do that any more and, like a clock, it ticks and tells you that life is moving on. But the first time of any important thing sticks and lasts it comes back at times and haunts you with its beauty and its sadness. Other trips there were, but they are lost in vagueness. Louis, I remember when I first went to New York. I remember when I first went to Chicago, I remember when I first went to St. We can only do any one thing significantly once. I packed my trunks, thinking of this big ship and the fact that my trip was over and that never again could I cross the Atlantic for the first time. “That is not a bad standard,�?I said, and then I added, “And what else do they do?�? How much was I to give the deck-steward how much to the bath-steward how much to the room-steward how much to the dining-room steward how much to “boots,�?and so on. Then I went to hunt Barfleur to find out how I should25 do. There is a directness between experienced intellects which26 waves aside all formalities. We rejoiced together singing, and then we fought.
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